The Inconsistencies of the Tooth Fairy

Okay everyone, can we please have a serious conversation about the Tooth Fairy?


Wednesday night Taelin lost her 7th tooth.  Before I even got home from working at the dance studio, Taelin had her tooth out for the Tooth Fairy and her note (something she did all on her own for the first tooth) done.  Note the importance placed on dance for no particular reason. As I was reading to her before tucking her in, she kept turning around to make sure that said tooth and note were still on her nightstand.  Needless to say, Taelin was enthused about the whole thing.

This morning, 10 minutes before my alarm was set to go off, I heard her bedroom door open and her come running down the hallway.  She climbed into the bed and crawled right in the middle, between Joe and I.  We knew to expect her based on the last 6 teeth.  In her hand she had her note, the note the Tooth Fairy left and $1.

She wanted me to read the note right then and there, which I did.  She giggled at the “P.S. nice tooth” because as Taelin said “she always says that”.  I wanted to point out that perhaps the Tooth Fairy couldn’t think of anything better to write because she was just really tired and had actually forgotten about it until she was in the middle of brushing her teeth on her way to bed…but I thought better of it.  Yay me.

She was clearly excited…until she said, “Why does the Tooth Fairy leave me only a dollar with a note and she leaves my friends five dollars and chocolate gold coins and Legos?”  Again, I avoided the first answer that popped into my head and went with, “You remember sweetie, we talked about this last time.”

My reason last time is that there isn’t just one tooth fairy.  There are lots of tooth fairies and they all leave different things.  Because she wrote a note the first time, she got a Tooth Fairy that likes to spent her time writing notes back instead of shopping.  I know I am just getting myself into more and more trouble by deepening the deception but seriously, what am I supposed to say?!? It has seriously bothered me all day.  I think that says something about me but I am going to go ahead and ignore that.

According to the website Practical Money Skills, the going rate for a tooth in 2015 was $3.19.  There is actually extensive data on the website about the the Tooth Fairy.  Who freakin’ knew?!?

This is one of those times that a parenting handbook would be really nice.  And in that handbook, that everyone received upon the birth of your child, would be the one dollar for every tooth a child loses.  It would really be easier for everyone, that handbook. But no, there is no such handbook.  Instead, I have to field questions too early in the morning from a seven old that loves dance and fairies.  Instead, I have spent the last half an hour going down a very strange rabbit hole finding out that there is an actual Tooth Fairy Calculator and that kids have 20 baby teeth that they lose, the last of which comes out around 12.

No, there is no parenting handbook and no way that people would ever agree so I am just going to stick with my story of multiple Tooth Fairies.  It is working for me so far.


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