Possums are not awesome

***This story is a retelling of an actual event that occurred in our house early Monday morning.  I am doing my best to recall the details but as it was in the middle of the freakin’ night, Joe may decide to argue with some of my retelling.***

Our loft is one of the things that sold us on this house.  There really isn’t a bad thing about it…except for that it gets hot and it is hard to cool down.  After having been gone all weekend, the house was hot and stuffy and we opened everything up, including the sliding glass door.  

 After Taelin went to bed, I retreated to the couch to organize some photos and Joe went upstairs.  It is important to note that this was probably around 8:30 p.m.  It is also important to note that the door was still open.  I tend to not like leaving the door open, but Joe is the one that has to live with the upstairs heat and he often leaves it open.  I went to bed around 11:00, hoping to get a good night of sleep since Monday was my first day back at work.

At 12:30ish, Joe came into the bedroom, woke me up, made a point of making sure that I was really awake and said, “When was the last time you were in the kitchen?”  I was clearly confused because before I could answer he said, “Something shit and peed in the kitchen and it wasn’t the cat. I think there is an animal in the house.”  Joe would have to fill in the gaps of what occurred at this point.  I just remember saying over and over, “So…what is it that you want me to do?”
Finally, I realized that what Joe wanted me to do was to help look for whatever it was that left the little surprise in the kitchen.  (Which he had cleaned up.)  At this point, because of the size of the poop Joe made a guess at the size of the animal.  He also included the detail that the poop wasn’t warm and so it had been there awhile so we had no idea whether or not the animal, which could have been a skunk or a raccoon or a possum, was still in the house.  I don’t really know how long he went on about it all.  I do remember laughing…a lot…at the ridiculousness of the current situation. Joe was not completely clothed (I think I will just leave it at that so you all don’t get too much of a visual.)  I, while Joe had been informing me of his scientific hypothesis, had grabbed a broom and put on shoes.  I got a couple of frustrated looks from Joe for laughing (and will probably get a couple more after he reads my above description of his attire) and he then went and got the big dust broom from the garage.
We proceeded to check the house for whatever said animal was lurking and determined after 20 minutes that there was no animal and decided, rather optimistically, that whatever animal had wandered in had also wandered out.  I went back to bed, with my shoes and broom beside me and hoped that the next time I would wake would be at 6:20 a.m. when my alarm went off.

It was instead 3:00 a.m. that I next saw the time on a clock.  Joe woke me up saying that he had heard nails tapping on the floor in the bedroom, yes the bedroom,  but that whatever it was had ran back out when Joe moved in the bed and that we needed to go find it.  I was freaking out more than a little because there was confirmation that there was indeed an animal that wasn’t the cat and it was indeed still in the house.  I put on my shoes, grabbed my broom and followed Joe out to the living room. When we got there, brooms in hand, we heard something underneath the couch.

At this point, things happened rather quickly. Joe flipped one of the couches over blocking the way into our hallway.  I grabbed one of the folding tables that was in the hallway from the LAN a couple of weeks ago and blocked off the staircase.  I grabbed the other table and ran around to the other side blocking the way to the kitchen.  I safely put myself on the side of the table that blocked me from whatever it was.  The animal was at least contained to the living room. (The table idea was mine, by the way, and was brilliant if I do say so myself.)

Joe was standing by the overturned couch and as he pushed the other one around I saw the back end of what was quickly identified as a possum.  I think I may have said something in a hurried high-pitched fashion but I don’t really remember.  Joe jumped up onto the ottoman and started poking the possum (that we realized was a baby..thank goodness!) but of course it played dead, because other than coming in unsuspecting houses that’s what they do.  I stood there with my broom realizing that if Joe pushed it and it came over by me I might be expected to do something and I considered for a moment if perhaps calling 911 would be a good idea.

Joe poked it and it finally moved along the edge of wall and then when it turned the corner banged into the part of the glass door that wasn’t opened and at the first possible moment it could, the baby possum ran out of the open door.  Joe jumped off the ottoman, ran to the sliding glass door and slammed it shut. We searched around for a little while making sure that there wasn’t a brother or sister possum…or worse a mama possum…somewhere around and once we decided we were finally sans marsupial, we dropped our brooms and went off to bed.  It was around 4 a.m. and I had just over 2 hours to try and get some sleep.

As I have relayed this story to others over the past few days, I have had the question of what Tucker was doing during this time.  It was the one night that our beagle could have actually been useful but because we got back from Seattle after the boarder closed, Tucker was sound asleep in his kennel.  He did go CRAZY the next day though when Joe brought him home and then later Monday night.  It became aware just how much that little baby possum wandered around our house.  Gross.

Because of my photo a day project has developed a habit of taking a picture of everything, I ran to the bedroom and grabbed my phone right after the possum ran out, which Joe was surprised by.  I was surprised that he was surprised…of course I am going to take a picture!

My quick thinking table blocking!
Flipped over couch.
The blockade from a different point of view.
Noticed the now closed door…at 3:17.  And Joe’s trusty sidekick, broom.

Some people have asked if I got any pictures of the possum.  To that I say, “Um…NO!  There was a freakin’ possum in my house!”

So there it is.  The awesome story about the not-so awesome possum.


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